Thursday, May 22, 2008

"Puppy Bowl"'s Biggest Fan

(Guest-written by Molson, lead hench-dog at the I Speak TV Global Stronghold)

Hi everyone! Hi! Hi!

I just saw this TV show, and it's the best TV I've ever been distracted by! Oh, boy, is it great!

It's better than the commercial where a doorbell rings, which always excites me. And it's better than that other commercial where there's a dog in it. That one was pretty cool, but not like this.

This show - no, that's not right, it's more like sports. I'm not sure what sports are. I know they make some of the people around here bark at the TV. But it never barks back, which I think is maybe a bit mean.

Anyway, it's called "Puppy Bowl," and on it? Right? There are dogs! Dogs like me! And they run around, and they drink water, and they play, and they play, and they play! Oh boy, is it great! I said that already, but it still is!

The other dogs run around and look right out at the screen, and it's like they want me to play with them. So I stand up and bark, right? But not like how the other people do it, I'm not mad at them, I want them to know I like them, and I wanna play with them too!

And y'know what? They bark back! And then they run around more! It's the greatest thing ever!

Someone here just said the word "hyperbole." I don't know what that is, but I'll bet it's fun!

But I'll bet it's not as fun as watching "Puppy Bowl" all day! I'll bet I could. But watching it sorta tired me out, so I'm gonna go take a nap wherever the guys here like to walk around a lot.

Hey, that reminds me: Isn't walking fun? Aw, man, sometimes I just walk for...ooh boy...sleepy. How do these people type all the tatk;js s;kadl; tkj;oiare;ajrkej;goiar;ejig;geihoh'eoeaoihgiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

(Guest columnist Molson is a professional small dog who has lived in the ISTV Global Stronghold for as long as he can remember. It is a length of time impressive only to him. In his role as lead hench-dog, he is chief engineer of barking at imaginary noises he thinks he hears.)


tad said...

To be fair, Molson, I'm not always mad when I bark at sports on tv. Sometimes, I'm horribly, horribly sad.

Oh, and that time I barked super loud at the exact moment that the shaky freighter guy was saying something that was presumed to be Important? Believe it or not, that was a mixture of shock and joy!!

tad said...

Further clarification (you should be able to edit comments on here, or am I missing something?)...

My shock and joy was at the Flyers, who won in overtime at the same instant that shaky guy was speaking on Lost. I didn't want any puppies to be confused and assume that I was shocked and joyous at what shaky guy was saying or anything.

Jaime Anderson said...

This was freaking hilarious. Oh, I hope Molson guests writes again.

In other thoughts, yes while incredibly cute, I cant believe there is a show on tv where you watch dogs tug at toys in a faux-stadium with studio clappinng in the background. Oh, the times we live in.