I Was Watching "How I Met Your Mother" Before It Got All Trendy

Tonight, "How I Met Your Mother" pulled its first major bit of "Will and Grace"-style celebrity stunt-casting, plopping Britney Spears into an extended cameo as a receptionist smitten with Ted.

Holy crap. Two entries mentioning Britney Spears in less than a week.

Something is amiss.

(And no, this isn't an unintentional crossover with Queen of Dirt - though you should be reading that blog, because you'll feel better catching up on celebrity horror than you would "accidentally" perusing TMZ.)

Anyway, for the five minutes of screentime she was given, it was a pretty clever character, with some solid jokes to be delivered. So here it is: Britney Spears wasn't bad. Would've been better if an actual, y'know, actress, had done the part. Someone who was expected to do more than show up on time with her lines memorized, who was maybe counted on to have a sense of comedic timing or something.

But hey, lookit! Britney Spears! (And really, that's the only reaction you can have, anytime she shows up: There is Britney Spears there, on the TV.)

Yeah, I'll admit it, I wasn't all that jazzed at hearing that our girl would be featured on this relatively obscure show. For a moment, I was actually beset upon by Indy Rock Syndrome. You're familiar with it. It's that uneasy feeling you get when new people start listening to a band you've been digging for years because they were featured on some commercial or something. (It is also known as "Pain in the Ass Snob Disorder.")

So yeah, for a little while, I got that irritable feeling that people might not be watching "How I Met Your Mother" for the right reasons. Then I realized that the possibility of introducing audiences to a show I like means it might not get canceled was a GOOD thing, so I unclenched a little.

So for all you out there who tuned in tonight because of a certain pop singer with a recent history of complete mental what-the-fuckness, welcome to "How I Met Your Mother." It's a good show, sometimes a little uneven, but it's got some great characters, strong running gags, and an honest-to-god, character-based premise, which is sort of rare for a sitcom.

Please enjoy it, and don't stop watching just because Britney won't be on every week. It's still good. Also, there's every possibility, based on past episodes, that someone from "Buffy" or "Freaks and Geeks" will show up in a bit part.

What do you MEAN you didn't watch "Buffy" or "Freaks and Geeks"?! Good god, I'm not sure we need your type of "viewer."

Shit! Shit, sorry. There goes the Syndrome again. Sorry. You're welcome here anytime.

Rube.

(Sorry! Really!)

Damn, "South Park." I mean...damn.

Well. That was pretty fucked up.

South Park manages to venture into some dark territory on occasion – here I'm thinking of Cartman feeding a boy his own parents and then tasting the kid's tears – but it's usually tempered with a goofy surrealist bent. Last night was a little different.

Last night was an honest-to-god horror story.

Granted, it wasn't an entirely new one, just one that took aspects of "The Lottery," "Wicker Man," and Chuck Pahlniuk's "Diary," but it was one of those rare times where the satire was so bleak and accusing that it was hard to laugh when the jokes occasionally rolled in.

The episode started with an unstable, despondent Britney Spears blowing her head off, and surviving…with three quarters of the head missing. Which stops absolutely no one from remarking how chubby and crazed she looks. When the boys realize that for god's sakes, think we need to leave this one alone, the citizens of South Park calmly reveal the truth: the need Britney to die, as part of a vague, indirect sacrifice. When she finally does die, the epilogue shows the townsfolk happily remarking on what a good corn crop this season has produced. Then they look up at a news story about Miley Cyrus, and sinisterly remark that the next harvest looks like it'll do just fine, too.

Haa…ha?

Rarely does "South Park" go so far into "A Modest Proposal" territory that it loses its humor, but holy crap. That was one grim damn episode.

Maybe I'm just a little touchy because I made that exact observation to someone a few months ago – "She's ours now, and apparently we need her to die," I believe was my remark – and now I feel both prescient and horrible.

So either "South Park," after 11 years, has finally succeeded in offending me...or it's just annoyed me by taking an off-hand sick joke I made and devoting 22 minutes to it.

Either way, as Stan and Kyle often do, I think I learned something today: apparently I just don't find the idea of a nearly-headless Britney Spears attempting to record an album all that funny.

Just to be clear, here:

This...




...does not offend me.

But the nearly-headless Britney sacrifice thing was maybe pushing it.