I Speak TV

It's fun to look at failure. Yes, a few successes here and there, but at the end of the graduating TV Show class of 2007, it's nice to take some time and laugh at the dropouts.


So What Died Screaming?


NBC:
Bionic Woman: No loss. It was crap.
Journeyman: Slightly more of a loss. It was boring, but mostly because it had to set up the basic rules of its time-traveling premise before it could get into the interesting, weird territory - like "what if he accidentally changed the timeline?" A great big "oh well," with the hope that Kevin McKidd is now freed up for better things.

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CBS:
Cane: Hooray, now Nestor Carbenell can appear on "Lost" without any big contract issues!
Moonlight: Hooray, now I don't have to deal with people who never watched "Angel" telling me this show "really wasn't that bad"!
Jericho: Because my dear friend Pam and her family liked it, I will not laugh at the fact that CBS got the rare opportunity to cancel a show twice. Heh. (That was a snicker, not a laugh!)

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ABC:
Nothing you didn't see coming during its first two weeks of airtime. Y'know. "Cavemen."
God, just look at that picture. Live and learn, ABC. Live and learn.

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FOX:
I feel a bit bad here. EVERYTHING they put out got cancelled this year, save for "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles." Granted, none of it was much good, but who knows? Maybe "New Amsterdam" might've gotten better. I mean, I stopped watching two episodes in, but I keep my ear to the ground, y'know?


So What, Through Whatever Arcane Means, Survived?
Here's the neat thing about the surviving fall shows: because of the strike, anything that wrapped up its season around, say, December, will be getting a huge push in the fall, like they're brand-new series. The problem with that? Count on a few pain-in-the-ass "Getting the newbies up to speed" episodes that are utterly redundant to returning viewers. Que serra.


NBC:
Chuck: Blandly pleasant to the point of being incorporeal, but as long as Adam Baldwin has a job, I'm happy.
Life: I actually heard this (also bland) Zen Detective series got better as it went along. Might be worth Netflixing the DVD, I'll let you know.

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CW:
Reaper: Once again - heard it got a little more involved during later episodes, so it'll be back by mid-season. It was a fun enough show, but repetitive stories and slack pacing put it on the back, back, back burner for me. Once again, if the DVD's worth it, I'll tell you.

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ABC:
Pushing Daisies: Yaaaaaaay!
Dirty Sexy Money: Really? Huh. Okay.
Eli Stone: Oh, COME ON.

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CBS:
The Big Bang Theory: Jeez, really? I guess people who don't actually hang out with nerds enjoy the vicarious thrill.

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Fox:
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Just like with "Chuck," as long as fellow "Firefly" alum Summer Glau has a regular gig, I'm happy. And one more time, say it with me now: we'll see if the season 1 DVD's any good. Apparently, the show really pulled together once they introduced Brian Austin Green's character. That's one of those sentences you never expect to write.




++++





Next: "Lost" finale
Upcoming: The absolute abortion that appears to be the fall season; and: What the hell are you gonna watch during the summer?



Stick with us, TV watcher. Just because the season's over, it doesn't mean the Global Stronghold's shutting down.